Pay It Forward

Dharma Talk week of 1/28

On Monday I had 3 different friends tell me how they were involved in "Pay-it-forward" situations.  One friend got to the front of a line and realized she had forgotten her wallet.  The people behind her paid for her and insisted that she just "pay it forward."  Another friend was behind a woman in line who couldn't pay for her coffee and she stepped in and bought the woman's cup-o-joe, asking her only to "pay it forward."  Another friend of mine witnessed a similar event between two strangers.

Last week I was talking about actions speaking louder than words.  I think this piggy-backs on that idea in a very real way.  New York City is often described as being alive, and if you live her you know that you feel like you are part of a bigger organism.  And it's because of US, because WE are here making things feel that way.  Just how when you hurt your foot you are likely to experience some effects in the knee and hip, what we do affects each other. 

The idea that we are able to pay anything forward to one another implies that we owe each other something.  And we do all believe this to be true in one way or another.  Whether you believe that we owe each other respect and simple kindness, or whether you believe that our government should provide us with certain resources, you believe something is owed to you by other humans.  It's the only way we can have any code of morals and ethics at all.  But we might not always have money or objects to share.  So what's our currency?

I believe it's to do with the heart.  The heart can be the source of all your wealth, if you choose.  Whether you can lend a hand, an ear, or a dollar to someone, the intention to give always comes from the same place.  Make the decision to be rich, beautiful souls.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Dharma talk week of 1/21/13

Actions speak louder than words.  Nobody knows your soul or can read your mind.  They can only make inferences based on what they see you do.  My friend Saul sent me a hilarious article that outlines a few ideas about why we stay trapped in the quicksand of inaction.  Here's a quote:

"Who you are on the inside is everything - the guy who built a house for his family from scratch did it because of who he was inside.  every bad thing you've ever done has started with a bad impulse ricocheting around inside your skull until you had to act on it.  Every good thing you've done is the same.  'Who you are inside' is the metaphorical dirt from which your fruit grows.  But here's what everyone needs to know and what many can't accept. 'You' are nothing but the fruit.  Nobody cares about your dirt.  'Who you are inside' is meaningless aside from what it produces for other people."

 The way this idea manifests in the asana, the posture, practice is by focusing on the actions of the poses.  You cannot be "Down Dog."  Shapes are abstractions; they don't exist until they are put into a piece of matter, like your body.  But you can feel the action of your thigh muscles working, you can feel the action of your chest pressing back in space, you can feel the action of the fingers spreading on the floor.  The result is something that we agree to call "Down Dog," but in reality it is the culmination of the action taken in your body.

Actions garner results.  In an asana class the actions of the body create yoga poses which in turn make your body feel stronger, more flexible, and appear leaner.  In your life, your actions will lead to different results.

Do the strength of your heart and the flexibility of your mind get exercised in the world in such a way that anyone could know you are a yogi? Stop wasting your time and energy on actions that belie who you are. Think about a quality you possess that you are really proud of.  Then name a way this has manifested in the world in the past, and set a goal to grow that quality in the future.  Give yourself a deadline, and stick to it.

Off you go!

Ready for Anything

Dharma Talk for the week of 1/14

My acting teacher Maria often asks us to be "ready for anything."  Ready to jump, ready to fall. Ready to give, ready to receive.  Ready for joy, ready for sorrow.  Ready for sun, ready for rain.

But this type of "readiness" isn't something you can prepare for.  This isn't like when you're going camping and prepare out the wazoo for every possible circumstance.  In fact, over-preparation is the complete opposite of acceptance.  What is really beautiful about this idea is that it requires a certain amount of surrender.  The rigid inability to let yourself be re-routed is what normally will lead you to feeling stuck in relationships/jobs/addictions/pain.

Being ready for anything is easier than it sounds.  It only requires the acceptance of one simple truth: YOU are not the experience you are having.  YOU are not your relationship with your boyfriend.  YOU are not your job.  YOU are not your biggest fear.  You are more.  Whether you are succeeding or being challenged, you still get to be you!  So stop idealizing one person, one path, one way of being - it leaves you with fewer options and makes life a lot more boring.  Be ready for anything.  The winding roads of circumstance can never define you, but if you let them guide you, the world might just look a little more colorful, and you might just feel a little more secure.

Becoming the Sun

Dharma Talk

Week of 1/7/13

The way we relate to the ground makes a big difference in the way we feel.  Lying on your back feels different than lying on your stomach.  Standing on one leg feels different than standing on two.  Standing on your hands feels different than sitting on your bottom.

Why?

Because the relationship you have to gravity is the closest relationship you can have to your own body.  It is so completely ingrained in us that we don't even notice it.  We are, without consent, bound to the earth because of her gravity.  And the earth is bound to the sun because of his gravity.

All pieces of matter have gravity…even us.  What orbits you?  What will you pull to you?  What would you like to attract?  Can you accept the role of being the sun of your own solar system?

You are brilliant, magnetic, a source of life for others.  Attract.

Resolve to Resolve

Hey there,

So I've made it a resolution to blog my dharma talk each week.  For those of you who don't know, in the yoga-class context a dharma talk is a short talk of meaning or purpose given at the beginning of class. It usually serves as a thematic anchor for the rest of the class.  I've found that teaching helps me clarify my thoughts, so I'll probably wait until the end of the week to summarize all I've learned.  Plus, I don't want to ruin any surprises for the people planning to come to my class during the week :)

So, here goes, for the week of 1/1/13:

RESOLVE TO RESOLVE

Lots of people have New Year's resolutions.  I'm struck by the two different definitions of the word "resolve."  To have resolve is to have clear focus and dedication toward an action or ideal.  To resolve something is to make it better, to add peace where it did not exist before.  With that in mind, I have adopted the following mantra:

"I resolve to resolve."

Everyone has conflict.  On a daily basis we are faced with small and large things that make us feel agitated.  Whether this dis-ease rests within yourself or in relationships with others, there's normally something that needs to be resolved.  I think we would benefit from assuring that any resolution we make also resolves something for us.  Resolve to resolve.

How do we do it?  I think it takes listening.  It's too easy to be right all the time.  It's too easy to surround ourselves only with people who support our opinions as fact.  We have GOT to, as a community, a nation, a species, start resolving to resolve.  We've got to compromise, and love each other even when we disagree.  I'm not saying you shouldn't stand up for yourself, but as you do, ask yourself what it is you are resolving by doing so.

Let's resolve to resolve.  Happy New Year, sweet souls,
April

Total Eclipse of the Heart

So this morning there was a partial lunar eclipse.  What happens during a lunar eclipse is that the sun, the moon, and the earth are aligned so that the shadow of the earth is cast upon the moon.  This blocks out some of the moon, making it look like part of the moon has disappeared.  Lots of ancient cultures have folklore about various animals eating the moon, and would even do things like hurl curses and sticks at the sky to try and prevent the animal from its nighttime snack. 

This makes me think about some things.

The earth is the thing casting the actual darkness on the moon.  What's funny about the ancient traditions of blaming an outside source for the darkness of the moon, is that it is indeed our home planet hiding the light.  So it's the earth's own doing that it can't see the light of the moon - it's standing in its own way…ahem…sound familiar to anyone?  In the astrological context, it is said that this is a representation of material things standing in the way of true knowledge.  Just as if the earth were aligned in a slightly different way we could see the entire moon, if our perspective were able to shift just the tiniest bit then greater truth would be illuminated for us.

Another thought.  The earth isn't BAD for casting a shadow on the moon.  How in the world could that be so?  The earth isn't doing anything other than being exactly where it is, without any preconception or control.  In fact, it has absolutely no choice at all about where it is - there are forces far beyond its reach that hold it into its relationship with the sun and the moon.  And where it is, it casts a shadow on the moon.  There will always be somebody casting their shadow on you.  It is very important to remember that they are not doing so because they are bad.  They are being exactly where they are, which has nothing to do with you.  And whether or not you know it, you are casting your shadow on somebody else.  It is the nature of being pieces of matter.  There will be light.  Sometimes we will block it, sometimes it will be blocked from us.  But it's still there.  The matter in the way of it isn't good or bad, it's just being in the only place it can possibly be at a given moment.

-----

Eclipses tend to be a time of illumination.  Things that were blocked from view become clear and simple.  I hope this is the case for you. 

Emocean

The intensity of our emotions can sometimes be confusing.  Our feelings are capable of washing over us like an ocean, giving us the impression that we are helplessly drowning in the intensity of our own being.  Whether this sea is made of drops of romance, sorrow, elation, or rage, its storms are formidable, capable of sending the most seasoned captains off course.

But what if we could measure the intensity of our emotions the same way we measure the intensity of sugar in our foods?  What if there were some sort of emotional nutrition facts that could show us how many calories of feeling we were experiencing?  What if managing the intensity of our emotions could be as simple as calorie counting?

While an actual measurement of our emotional intensity may never be possible, perhaps it is still possible for us to become the Poseidon of our own “Emocean.”  Let’s liken our feelings to sugar for a moment.  Any doctor will tell you that in moderation, sugar is not harmful to your body.  It’s when we go overboard that we start to see the negative impacts of our consumption.  So let’s begin to view intense emotions like a big huge slice of cake: an indulgence.  Indulgences are not bad!  But they must be moderated. 

One of the most wonderful things about the human experience is being caught up in our feelings.  Our hearts are capable of great power, and we ought to succumb to them from time to time.  But we must be aware that we are allowing this consumption to take place, just as we are aware when we are having one slice of cake too many.  Be intense, but never think you are helpless against the waves of your own creation.  Wield your trident, Poseidon, love the storm or love the calm, but never think you are without choice.